The Temperament God Gave You

There are many inspirational and relationship books out there. But you are always left to wonder which one of them would be worth buying or reading at all. Plus they are not cheap.

When my brother-in-law, who is now a priest, gave us this book during the BC (Before Children) era, it didn’t made as much impact as it did when I read it again now.

The age of wisdom has come.

It made me understand how my husband can work all day long and still have energy to help me with the children and do home repairs at day end. Imagine Popeye after eating his spinach. He can’t seem to sleep well or at all if he hasn’t ticked everything on his list. He is the first to wake up and the last to sleep. He is driven and challenges motivates him.

Now it makes sense why Sasha thinks and reacts like her father. She is a natural leader. If I want something done, I ask her to do it. But she can’t understand why she’s ever wrong. She will defend her right till it drives me to madness.

The book taught me ways to deal with Pio, the one I find most difficult to grasp. He is the ultimate fun lover. Party all the time. He can’t sit or focus well in homeschooling if he hears his younger siblings playing. Perennially distracted by something more fleeting.

It became clearer to me why Luis needs time for and by himself, why he is slow to react, why he usually quiet. Luis is very much like me. We need to reflect, to have a space of our own. He concentrates well. But he’s a bit inflexible like Mom. We don’t like changes so much.

Through this book I discovered why my father gets along well with everybody, why he would give up his opinion to avoid conflict or why he prefers to stay at home over meeting new people.  Naturally nice and laid-back.

Nina and Anton are still unfolding their temperaments.

You have to get a copy of this book, The Temperament God Gave You by veteran Catholic counselor Art Bennett and his wife, Laraine.


The authors explain in their book that temperament is something God given. It is our predisposition to react in certain ways, hardwired in us. It is not learned or acquired through contact with our environment.

There are four temperaments. Elmer and Sasha are choleric, the dynamos. Luis and I are melancholic, the idealist. Pio is my sanguine, the star. My father is phlegmatic, the peace loving.

The book gives you clear, specific guidelines on how to understand and better love your spouse, how to improve your relationship with your children, parents, siblings and friends.

Most of all, it gives you the key to knowing yourself more.

To thy own self be true.

You will never be the same after reading this book.


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